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How to Handle
Rejection
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July 20, 2010
Written by Jennifer Nickert
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Life will hand you lemons. It’s a guarantee. How you handle it is
where the art of living comes into play. You can sulk, cry, wish,
hope, get mad, get crazy or you can turn those lemons into Lemon
Meringue pie.
When someone you like doesn’t like you back, likes someone else
more, or is just too big of a mess to date, how should you handle
it? With your chin up.
Rule # Uno for handling rejection:
Have some class. When someone tells you they don’t want to see you
or talk to you, you have to respect that. How you handle yourself
right now is your true inner self. Everyone can be nice and sweet
when they are treated well. It takes a very strong person to
maintain themselves in a dignified way when things are going
badly. You’re not doing this for the guy or girl that just “fired
you”, you’re behaving for yourself. You don’t want regrets or to
be embarrassed later in life over some guy or girl you will hardly
remember.
I think Bill Murray said it best in the movie “What About Bob.” He
says, “You know, I treat people, as if they were telephones. If I
meet somebody I think doesn't likes me I say Bob, this one is
temporarily out of order. You know, don't break the connection,
just hang up and try again!”
There are millions of phone lines, just try another.
Rule #2 for handling rejection:
Treat yourself well. Don’t sit and replay the rejection over and
over in your head. It won’t serve you any good. Treat yourself
like you would your best friend, make yourself laugh. Put a comedy
in, go to a comedy club, read a funny book, or try putting a
pencil between your teeth. Sounds weird, but holding the pencil
lengthwise with your teeth forces a smile and those muscles tell
your brain you are happy. When you are feeling sad, try a pencil
or fake a smile until it becomes genuine. You can also call a good
friend or family member.
Rule #3 for handling rejection:
Make it positive. Turn that horrible negative rejection into a
happier thought. You’re raw and hurting, so this is going to be
tough, but what you need to do is make it positive in your head.
Don’t think of it as another rejection, think of it as crossing
one more thing off your list on your way to your goal. If you have
a one in five shot at finding love, you need to cross off four
people to get to number five.
Make a happy journal and read it after a rejection. Your happy
journal can be pictures that make you smile, any wonderful
compliment you ever got. Fill your happy journal with funny
stories, passages from books, great memories, cards from loved
ones. Then when your day is rough, you open your happy journal and
tell your brain it’s ok, that you have wonderful things in your
life and put that rejection in the mental trash can.
Rule #4 for handling rejection:
Forgive yourself. If you know it was your fault and we all know
when it is, forgive yourself. If you were mea, if you said
something stupid, if you behaved inappropriately, whatever it was…
forgive yourself. Laugh at it, shake your head and start fresh
with someone new. Even if it wasn’t as dramatic as this, but you
feel you weren’t good enough. You didn’t dress well enough, you
weren’t thin enough, you didn’t say the right thing, or maybe you
said the wrong things. Just forgive yourself and change it for the
next time.
Rejection will happen to you, over and over within different
aspects of your life. Don’t let it get you down, think further
down the road. Love yourself and treat yourself well no matter
what happens.
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